The Deck

It’s been thirteen years, but I still think about him a lot
In the quiet moments of a morning, or standing on the deck he built, not forgot

Upon reflection, I feel him right there with me
The presence strengthens, matching my intensity

Right after the loss I’d break down at any condolence or pity shown
After more time, it happened only when I was alone

It now seems like that hospital was eons ago, even the code blue
My toughest times are at night, or quiet days when I’m alone with my view

Or when I see pictures of dad, or stand upon his deck
Knowing he’s not there to counsel, or help me reflect

I do feel his soul or spirit looks down on us still
It wasn’t just in the first days and weeks, that I needed his help to fulfill

My journey of being a good husband and father
His guidance was a true gift, and never a bother

The Senior Skins Game was on today, a perennial prelude to the Super Bowl
Dad and I always loved watching it, golf a common goal

I watched a little, but felt saddened and lost my resolve
Feeling guilty he wasn’t there, difficult to evolve

The legacy he gave me, enjoy life’s blessings with those you love most
Resonated more, as we were both equally proud of each other, not meaning to boast

My last visions of him, just after he passed
Were important and lasting, something later to contrast

I talked out loud to him, caressing his hands, arms, and face
The tubes were now gone, and he seemed much at peace

I tried to remember everything, leaving nothing to regret
Cementing a last picture, never wanting to forget

It was and still is hard to believe, he’s truly gone
Though time does heel all, I know he hasn’t withdrawn

I remember that last time, when we parted
We hugged goodbye, not knowing what life charted

I walked around the house today with my dogs
The pond is high, and the bass have quieted the tree frogs

When I look back at our house, I could see that his deck really finished the place off
I thanked him in my thoughts, and do so most times when I walk.

Thinking about that very hot summer, and the small contributions I made
I can’t help but wonder if he knew his time was near, a final parade.

He checks in on us, to see the kids growing and how we’re all fairing
I know he’ll be there to greet me when it’s my time, no despairing

So, if you’ve been blessed in time with parents who matter
Make sure you spend it not just in idle chatter

My mom, still with us, is the kindest and gentlest of souls
And I work every day, to emulate her role

The deck is there to remind me of more than he or she
It’s something, like them, that will always be a part of me

The Heart's Yearning

From an early age she yearned for something great

What it was she did not know, but she really couldn't wait

For many interests she had, both large and small

Her love of animals and great friendships, she grew from them all

An insecure father who controlled all around

Was mitigated by mom until she was ground down

All added to the confusion we all experience early in life

But our values and strength of character help us with strife

That we continuously face over our time on this earth

Which produces some grit and grime that impedes our search

For that pinnacle of happiness, whatever it is

The finding for some is like taking a quiz

On subjects we don't quite understand

With no guarantee to reach that promised of lands

Of joy, contentment, bliss, all words that describe

Whatever we believe is that ultimate ride

Her journey is similar to many of us

It's good times and bad times that cause a great fuss

Her strengths are vision and commitment to move towards a goal

Not letting reality, pain, or confusion take too great a toll

Understanding that it isn't just reaching the end

But enjoying the journey and making sure you ascend

To that place of places we all want to be

Our true heart's yearning, I think you'll agree

For her specifically, that is to say for my wife

She's given me all that i wanted in life

A great family including kids, dogs, cats, horses and then some

And encouragement to go after a calling that was right under my thumb

She's a great friend, and remarkably so

That I want her to have that additional glow

That comes from achieving her ultimate heart's yearning

Making something out of nothing, using passion and life's learning

Paradox of Time

Shawn Chadwick Sackman

Paradox of Time

Playing soccer as kids for their very first time,
he only five and she just turned six.
She simply looks his way,
and the ball is passed without any tricks.

The other lads look on in disbelief,
as the passes are abundant.
Not a word between them, just quick looks and fleeting smiles,
Nothing is redundant.

They attend different schools,
their acquaintance is brief.
His hazel green eyes remain in her memory,
without any relief.

Years later an opposing cheerleader looks familiar,
at a college football game.
When tackled on the visitor’s side,
his eyes look up, rekindling a flame.

He passes out, then graduates,
Taking a job in the city.
They almost meet again, on a blind date,
but the fates disallow, such the pity.

In a grand hotel, she stands beautifully in a wedding dress,
as a groom looks on lovingly, eyes burning.
She daydreams of another pair of eyes,
contemplating an old yearning.

She runs, preempting the ceremony,
leaving audience in shock and dismay.
No meeting of soulful hearts this time,
this day.

Years later still, a pleasant voice calls for help
while fishing a stream in the wild.
He responds with net at the ready,
only to find a familiar, great smile.

As he nets the fish, their eyes lock,
and she says thanks for the assist.
His heart thumps loudly within his chest,
It’s nothing really, it’s a trophy not to be missed.

She hesitates, have we met ?
I have the strongest feeling of déjà vu.
Regaining composure he says, maybe but
I think I’d remember you.

Minutes later they sit chatting away,
like kids who’ve just met.
Their souls seem older though,
and linked in a way neither will soon forget.